Best Day Trading Software

Posts Tagged ‘Maturity’

Relationships:
When a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and she will write a poem titled ‘All Men Are Idiots.’ Then she will get on with her life. A mail has a little more trouble letting go. Six months after the break-up, at 3 am on a Sunday morning, he will call and say, ‘I just wanted to let you know you ruined my life, and I’ll never forgive you, and hate you, and you’re a total floozy. But I want you to know that there’s always a chance for us.’ This is known as the ‘I Hate You, I Love You’ drunken phone call and 99 percent of all men have made it at least once. There are community colleges that offer courses to help men get over this need.

Sex:
Women prefer 30 to 40 minutes of foreplay. Men prefer 30 to 40 seconds of foreplay. Men consider driving back to her place as part of the foreplay.

Maturity:
Women mature much faster than men do. Most 17-year-old females can function as adults. Most 17year-old males are still trading baseball cards and giving each other wedgies after gym class. This is why high school romances rarely work out.

Magazines:
Men’s magazines often feature pictures of naked women. Women’s magazines also feature pictures of naked women. This is because the female body is a beautiful work of art, while the male body is lumpy and hairy and should not be seen by the light of day. Men are turned on at the sight of a naked woman’s body. Most naked men elicit laughter from women.

Bathrooms:
A man has five items in his bathroom - a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

Groceries:
A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes out to the store and buys these things. A man waits till the only items left in his fridge are half a lime and a beer. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good. By the time a man reaches the checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter than the Clampetts’ car on The Beverly Hillbillies. Of course, this will not stop him from going to the 10?items?or?less lane.

Cats:
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren’t looking, men kick cats.

Offspring:
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

Dressing Up:
A woman will dress up to: go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

Laundry:
Women do laundry every couple of days. A man will wear every article of clothing he owns including his surgical pants that were hip about eight years ago, before he will do his laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, rent a van and take his mountain of clothes to the Laundromat. Men always expect to meet beautiful women at the Laundromat. This is a myth perpetuated by reruns of old American sitcoms.

Eating Out:
When the bill comes, Mike, Dave, Rob and Jack will each throw in bills, even though it’s only for .50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

Mirrors:
Men are vain; they will check themselves out in a mirror. Women are ridiculous; they will check out their reflections in any, shiny surface: mirrors, spoons, store windows, bald boyfriend’s/father’s heads.

Menopause: When a woman reaches menopause, she goes through a variety of complicated emotional, psychological, biological Changes. Nature provokes a uniform reaction in men. He buys aviator glasses, a snazzy French cap and leather driving gloves, and goes shopping for a Porsche.

Richard Gere:
Women like Richard Gere because he is sexy in a dangerous way. Men hate Richard Gere because lie reminds them of that slick guy who works at the health club and dates only married women.

Madonna:
Same as above, but reversed. Same reason.

Toys:
Little girls love to play with toys. Then when they reach the age of 11 or 12, they lose interest. Men never grow out of their obsession with toys. As they get older, their toys simply become more expensive and silly and impractical. Examples of men’s toys: little miniature TVs. Cell phones. Complicated juicers and blenders. Graphic equalizers. Small robots that serve cocktails on command. Video games. Anything that blinks, beeps, and requires at least six big batteries to operate.

Locker Rooms:
In the locker room men talk about three things: money, football, and women. They exaggerate about money, they don’t know football nearly as well as they think they do, and they fabricate stories about women. Women talk about one thing in the locker room: sex. And not in abstract terms, either. They are extremely graphic and technical, and they never lie.

Movies:
Every actress in the history of movies has had to do a nude scene. This is because every movie in the history of movies has been produced by a man. Men will only show their arse, because arse size doesn’t really matter.

Jewelry:
Women look nice when they wear jewelry. A man can get away with wearing one ring and that’s it. Any more than that and he will look like a lounge singer named Ramone.

Time:
When a woman says she’ll be ready to go out in five more minutes, she’s using the same meaning of time as when a man says the football game just has five minutes left. Neither of them is counting time outs, commercials, or replays.

Friends:
Women on a ‘girls’ night out’ talk the whole time. Men on a ‘boys’ night out’ say about 20 words all night, most of which are ‘Pass the chips’ or ‘Got am more beer?’

Toilets:
Men use toilets for purely biological reasons. Women use toilets as social lounges. Men in toilets will never speak a word to each other. Women who’ve never met will leave a toilet giggling together like old friends. And never in the history of the world has a man excused himself from a restaurant table by saying, ‘Hey Tom, I, was just about to take a leak. Do you want to join me
Yes, I know, it is verrryyyyy long lol.

Technorati Tags: baseball cards, community colleges, floozy, Groceries, grocery shopping, gym class, Heart, lol, Mail, Maturity, men are idiots, naked men, naked woman, naked women, need sex, Poem, Relationship, Relationships, school romances, sex women, shaving cream, Six Months, Sunday Morning, toothbrush, typical woman, wedgies, women women, work of art

• Jokes for Women and some other gender jokes? before the jokes just won't to let you know I'm not trying to offend anyone I'm good person don't judge me by jokes please here are my blonde jokes they are really funny. http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AjppTMi1qB0caFMi2wSRAl_WxQt.;_ylv=3?qid=20071106151918AAx7Pto Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.......
• Tell me what you think of Obama and why? Tell me what you think of Obama and why? Lets have some facts stated first. Here are just a couple of the bad things he's done so far. Obama has basically created 8 trillion dollars and we dont know whats happened to most of it. Obama doesnt support an audit......
• Tell me what you think of Obama and why? Tell me what you think of Obama and why? Lets have some facts stated first. Here are just a couple of the bad things he's done so far. Obama has basically created 8 trillion dollars and we dont know whats happened to most of it. Obama doesnt support an audit......
• wot do u think? Relationships When a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and she will write a poem titled “All Men Are Idiots”. Then she will get on with her life. A man has a little more trouble letting go. Six months after the break-up,......
• Polygamist: brainwashed or just not educated like us? You read and you watch the news on tv about it. We all hear the opinions of the editors and the news host. They talk about the women and children being brainwashed, based on the way they speak and the costumes that they wear. Take into count that these people......
• Nanoscopic Police Enforcement good or bad? possible? 20 to 200 yrs in the future depending on the circumstance of events. Pharmaceutical, Genetic, and Robotic company's will merge together to create social standards a firm economic grip on the "free market" and spawn array positives and negatives into day to day life from what kinds of medications you......
• What Is Your Investing Style? Knowing what your risk tolerance & investment style are will help you pick investments more wisely. While there's plenty of different types of investments that one can make, there's only three specific investing styles – & those three styles tie in with your risk tolerance. The three investment styles are......

• My husband had an affair with my best friend...What should I do? My husband had an affair with my best friend...What should I do? I just found out through a saved e-mail on my husbands phone that he had a 4 month affair with my best friend whom I've known since grade school. I would never in a million years suspected that......
• Widgi Creek Golf Club, Bend, OR Widgi Creek Golf Club is located in: Bend, OR Phone: (541) 382-4449 Website: http://www.widgi.com/golf/hours.cfm Course History: This is a great place to stop if you will be in the Bend, OR area. We fell in love with this course and can't wait to go back. It is extremely beautiful and......
• Abortion.. What are your views? Trapped... Time Has Run Out For Over 49 Million Americans. By Another's Choice.. Who is trapped by the "choice" of abortion? Both the mother and the pre-born child. Abortion is legal through all nine months of pregnancy in the United States. The infamous Roe v. Wade case legalized abortion throughout......
• One Hundred Pushup Challenge -- Knee Push ups, 1 Handed Knee Pushups, and Full Push ups Well if you haven't heard by now then you aren't paying attention to the Health and Fitness blogosphere... Everyone is doing the 100 push up challenge at 100 push ups.   It is a 6 week training program geared toward a final test where 100 consecutive pushups are completed.  (My first......
• Are Christians hypocrites??? Christians, they love to talk about how loving, dutiful and compassionate they are, yet I have yet to meet ONE who does not practice hypocrisy to the highest degree. Their willful ignorance of the Bible combined with their two faced idealism to preach it, has made us sick, hasn’t it?......
• Athlete Profiles: Pete Sampras Pete Sampras was born in 1971 and grew up in the Washington DC area of the United States. He is considered to be one of the most gifted male players in the sport and has one numerous titles, medals and cups throughout his long and illustrious career. Although he is......
• Alternative Income Streams Progress - Early December This is the fourth installment tracking of my alternative income streams plan and progress. This month I'm showing very good progress in creating more money outside my job. I had at least 6 Prosper.com loans get verified in the last two weeks and this blog has been getting a little......

Relationships
When a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and she will write a poem titled “All Men Are Idiots”. Then she will get on with her life.

A man has a little more trouble letting go. Six months after the break-up, at 3:00 a.m. on a Saturday night, he will call and say, “I just wanted to let you know you ruined my life, and I’ll never forgive you, and I hate you, and you’re a total floozy. But I want you to know that there’s always a chance for us”. This is known as the “I Hate You / I Love You” drunken phone call, that 99% of all men have made at least once. There are community colleges that offer courses to help men get over this need; alas, these classes rarely prove effective.

Maturity
Women mature much faster than men. Most 17-year-old females can function as adults. Most 17-year-old males are still trading baseball cards and giving each other wedgies after gym class. This is why high school romances rarely work out.

Handwriting
To their credit, men do not decorate their penmanship. They just chicken- scratch. Women use scented, colored stationary and they dot their “i’s” with circles and hearts. Women use ridiculously large loops in their “p’s” and “g’s”. It is a royal pain to read a note from a woman. Even when she’s dumping you, she’ll put a smiley face at the end of the note.

Bathrooms
A man has six items in his bathroom - a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

Groceries
A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes to the store and buys these things. A man waits till the only items left in his fridge are half a lime and a beer. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good. By the time a man reached the checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter that the Clampett’s car on Beverly Hillbillies. Of course, this will not stop him from going to the 10-items-or-less lane.

Shoes
When preparing for work, a woman will put on a Mondi wool suit, and then slip on Reebok sneakers. She will carry her dress shoes in a plastic bag. When a woman gets to work, she will put on her dress shoes. Five minutes later she will kick them off because her feet are under the desk. A man will wear the same pair of shoes all day.

Leg Warmers
A woman, even if she’s walking the dog or doing the dishes, is allowed to wear leg warmers. She can wear them any time she wants. A man can only wear leg warmers if he is auditioning for the “Gimme the Ball” number in “A Chorus Line.”

Going Out
When a man says he is ready to go out, it means he is ready to go out. When a woman says she is ready to go out, it means she will be ready to go out, as soon as she finds her earring, finishes putting on her makeup…

Cats
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren’t looking, men kick cats.

Offspring
Ah!, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

Dressing Up
A woman will dress up to: go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail etc. A man will dress up for: weddings, funerals.

Laundry
Women do laundry every couple of days. A man will wear every article of clothing he owns, including his surgical pants that were hip about eight years ago, before he will do his laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out and take his mountain of clothes to the laundromat. Men always expect to meet beautiful women at the laundromat. This is a myth perpetuated by re-runs of old episodes of “Love, American Style.”

Socks
Men wear sensible socks. They wear standard white sweatsocks. Women wear strange socks. Socks that are cut way below the ankles, that have pictures of clouds on them, that have a big fuzzy ball on the back.

Nicknames
If Gloria, Suzanne, Deborah and Michelle get together for lunch, they will call each other Gloria, Suzanne, Deborah and Michelle. But if Mike, Dave, Rob and Jack go out for a brewsky, they will affectionately refer to each other as Bullet-Head, Godzilla, Peanut-Brain and Useless.

Eating Out
… and when the check comes, Mike, Dave, Rob and Jack will each throw in bills, even though it’s only for .50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their check, out come the pocket calculators.

Mirrors
Men are vain; they will always check themselves out in a mirror. Women are ridiculous; they will check out their reflections in any shiny surface: mirrors, spoons, car windows, store windows, toasters, Joe Garagiola’s head.

The Telephone
Men see the telephone as a communication tool. They use the telephone to send short messages to other people. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.

Directions
If a woman is out driving, and she finds herself in unfamiliar surroundings, she will stop at a gas station and ask for directions. Men consider this to be a sign of weakness. Men will never stop and ask for directions. Men will drive in a circle for hours, all the while saying things like, “Looks like I’ve found a new way to get there.” and, “I know I’m in the general neighborhood. I recognize that 7-11 store.”

Admitting Mistakes
Women will sometimes admit making a mistake. The last man who admitted he was wrong was General George Custer.

Toys
Little girls love to play with toys. Then when they reach the age of 11 or 12, they lose interest. Men never grow out of their obsession with toys. As they get older, their toys simply become more expensive and silly and impractical. Examples of men’s toys: little miniature TV’s. Car phones. Complicated juicers and blenders. Graphic equalizers. Small robots that serve cocktails on command. Video games. Anything that blinks, beeps, and requires at least 6 “D” batteries to operate.

Plants
A woman asks a man to water her plants while she is on vacation. The man waters the plants. The woman comes home five or six days later to an apartment full of dead plants. No one knows why this happens.

Cameras
Men take photography very seriously. They’ll shell out 00 for state of the art equipment, and build dark rooms and take photography classes. Women purchase Kodak Instamatics. Of course women always end up taking better pictures.

Jewelry
Women look nice when they wear jewelry. A man can get away with wearing one ring and that’s it. Any more than that and he will look like a lounge singer.

Technorati Tags: Adults, baseball cards, checkout counter, chicken scratch, community colleges, credit men, dial soap, Females, floozy, Groceries, grocery shopping, gym class, Handwriting, Heart, M 111, Maturity, men are idiots, penmanship, Poem, Relationship, Relationships, Saturday Night, school romances, shaving cream, Six Months, smiley face, toothbrush, toothpaste, typical woman, wedgies

• Should we give money to poor ppl? ZAKAAT (Alms) Ramadan is the month of giving and benevolence, the Messenger was more benevolent than a falling rain. Muslims are encouraged to emulate the Messenger of Allah (saas), to assess and pay their Zakaat during the month of Ramadan, thus combining the two pillars of Islam at the same......
• now that the real problems facing america can't be so easily hiden,? should ron paul run as a independent. even fox is talking about how right he is Time to Listen to Ron Paul? By Elizabeth MacDonald Time to listen to Texas Congressman Ron Paul, the lone voice of reason in Congress today who’s got to feel like he’s shouting into a......
• Nanoscopic Police Enforcement good or bad? possible? 20 to 200 yrs in the future depending on the circumstance of events. Pharmaceutical, Genetic, and Robotic company's will merge together to create social standards a firm economic grip on the "free market" and spawn array positives and negatives into day to day life from what kinds of medications you......
• difference between men and women (fairly long)? Handwriting: Men: To their credit, men do not decorate their penmanship. They just chicken-scratch. Women: Women use scented, colored stationery and they dot the "i" with circles or hearts. Women use ridiculously large loops in the "b" and "g". It is a pain to read a note from a woman.......
• now that fox folk have got the nomination secured for the crooks they are willing to talk about how right Ron? is http://emac.blogs.foxbusiness.com/ Time to Listen to Ron Paul? By Elizabeth MacDonald Time to listen to Texas Congressman Ron Paul, the lone voice of reason in Congress today who’s got to feel like he’s shouting into a field of cotton with his repeated warnings about the dangers of a collapsing dollar,......
• how can i get the Canadian government to cooperate; are my being taken seriously? Dear Yahoo.com, I know that your News Room, is up to date on the most recent Senate Green Room, discussion over the Canadian Boarder breech case involving, a Marie, who is now recognized as a famed Mobsters Lady? Well, I myself might be a small fish compared to this great......
• what broker should i use as a novice investor with smaller dollar amounts to invest? so i have a 401k through work as well as being enrolled in their stock purchase program, a few books i've read Cramer etc. and a play account on yahoo. think i'm about ready. so what broker best suits a young guy lookin not to day trade but to buy......

• Lotto numbers all hit from last 4 draws On 7 January 2009, the Australian Lotto numbers all hit from the last 4 draws! That is, all winning numbers came from those of the previous 4 draws, a rare event - see draws below. Lotto Results Australia To optimize lotto games for such an event would give tremendous advantage in......
• Monday Lotto AU 2million Today's Lotto looks the best prospect so far, for a narrow ANY 6 draw. All numbers should be derived from those of the previous 5 draws, if not, it will probably blow out and the next draw will be the tight one. The Saliu Filters look extremely favorable. This reduces......
• Wednesday Lotto AU 750K Sticking with current strategy: SMALL numbers, 33 or less, having hit in the last 7 draws. A couple of odd ones thrown in. 18 games + Double up, Cost $9.15 1 6 12 18 27 33 1 6 10 11 22 24 1 6 11 12 18 22 3 10......
• Monday Lotto AU 1million Once again, sticking to the same strategy followed the last few draws, small numbers under 33, and derived from previous 7 draws or less. These are the 2 factors due to come into play, maybe seperately, maybe together. It is taking a bit of a punt, but using both factors......
• Is this a symptom to go to a shrink? I feel very weird. I'm married and i sometimes get this burst of anger out of nowhere. I feel pushed around by my husband and he doesn't seem to want to understand why i'm angry at him. goes way back and i think i've keep everything inside and they are......
• Start Investing P2P Lending I have been investing in p2p lending on Prosper since July 06. I consider it an alternative asset class and orthgonal to the stock market.  I am regularly asked if someone should invest in p2p lending... I think the answer is a loud and clear yes! But before you rush......
• One Hundred Pushup Challenge -- Knee Push ups, 1 Handed Knee Pushups, and Full Push ups Well if you haven't heard by now then you aren't paying attention to the Health and Fitness blogosphere... Everyone is doing the 100 push up challenge at 100 push ups.   It is a 6 week training program geared toward a final test where 100 consecutive pushups are completed.  (My first......