Best Day Trading Software

Posts Tagged ‘credit men’

Relationships
When a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and she will write a poem titled “All Men Are Idiots”. Then she will get on with her life.

A man has a little more trouble letting go. Six months after the break-up, at 3:00 a.m. on a Saturday night, he will call and say, “I just wanted to let you know you ruined my life, and I’ll never forgive you, and I hate you, and you’re a total floozy. But I want you to know that there’s always a chance for us”. This is known as the “I Hate You / I Love You” drunken phone call, that 99% of all men have made at least once. There are community colleges that offer courses to help men get over this need; alas, these classes rarely prove effective.

Maturity
Women mature much faster than men. Most 17-year-old females can function as adults. Most 17-year-old males are still trading baseball cards and giving each other wedgies after gym class. This is why high school romances rarely work out.

Handwriting
To their credit, men do not decorate their penmanship. They just chicken- scratch. Women use scented, colored stationary and they dot their “i’s” with circles and hearts. Women use ridiculously large loops in their “p’s” and “g’s”. It is a royal pain to read a note from a woman. Even when she’s dumping you, she’ll put a smiley face at the end of the note.

Bathrooms
A man has six items in his bathroom - a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

Groceries
A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes to the store and buys these things. A man waits till the only items left in his fridge are half a lime and a beer. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good. By the time a man reached the checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter that the Clampett’s car on Beverly Hillbillies. Of course, this will not stop him from going to the 10-items-or-less lane.

Shoes
When preparing for work, a woman will put on a Mondi wool suit, and then slip on Reebok sneakers. She will carry her dress shoes in a plastic bag. When a woman gets to work, she will put on her dress shoes. Five minutes later she will kick them off because her feet are under the desk. A man will wear the same pair of shoes all day.

Leg Warmers
A woman, even if she’s walking the dog or doing the dishes, is allowed to wear leg warmers. She can wear them any time she wants. A man can only wear leg warmers if he is auditioning for the “Gimme the Ball” number in “A Chorus Line.”

Going Out
When a man says he is ready to go out, it means he is ready to go out. When a woman says she is ready to go out, it means she will be ready to go out, as soon as she finds her earring, finishes putting on her makeup…

Cats
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren’t looking, men kick cats.

Offspring
Ah!, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

Dressing Up
A woman will dress up to: go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail etc. A man will dress up for: weddings, funerals.

Laundry
Women do laundry every couple of days. A man will wear every article of clothing he owns, including his surgical pants that were hip about eight years ago, before he will do his laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out and take his mountain of clothes to the laundromat. Men always expect to meet beautiful women at the laundromat. This is a myth perpetuated by re-runs of old episodes of “Love, American Style.”

Socks
Men wear sensible socks. They wear standard white sweatsocks. Women wear strange socks. Socks that are cut way below the ankles, that have pictures of clouds on them, that have a big fuzzy ball on the back.

Nicknames
If Gloria, Suzanne, Deborah and Michelle get together for lunch, they will call each other Gloria, Suzanne, Deborah and Michelle. But if Mike, Dave, Rob and Jack go out for a brewsky, they will affectionately refer to each other as Bullet-Head, Godzilla, Peanut-Brain and Useless.

Eating Out
… and when the check comes, Mike, Dave, Rob and Jack will each throw in bills, even though it’s only for .50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their check, out come the pocket calculators.

Mirrors
Men are vain; they will always check themselves out in a mirror. Women are ridiculous; they will check out their reflections in any shiny surface: mirrors, spoons, car windows, store windows, toasters, Joe Garagiola’s head.

The Telephone
Men see the telephone as a communication tool. They use the telephone to send short messages to other people. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.

Directions
If a woman is out driving, and she finds herself in unfamiliar surroundings, she will stop at a gas station and ask for directions. Men consider this to be a sign of weakness. Men will never stop and ask for directions. Men will drive in a circle for hours, all the while saying things like, “Looks like I’ve found a new way to get there.” and, “I know I’m in the general neighborhood. I recognize that 7-11 store.”

Admitting Mistakes
Women will sometimes admit making a mistake. The last man who admitted he was wrong was General George Custer.

Toys
Little girls love to play with toys. Then when they reach the age of 11 or 12, they lose interest. Men never grow out of their obsession with toys. As they get older, their toys simply become more expensive and silly and impractical. Examples of men’s toys: little miniature TV’s. Car phones. Complicated juicers and blenders. Graphic equalizers. Small robots that serve cocktails on command. Video games. Anything that blinks, beeps, and requires at least 6 “D” batteries to operate.

Plants
A woman asks a man to water her plants while she is on vacation. The man waters the plants. The woman comes home five or six days later to an apartment full of dead plants. No one knows why this happens.

Cameras
Men take photography very seriously. They’ll shell out 00 for state of the art equipment, and build dark rooms and take photography classes. Women purchase Kodak Instamatics. Of course women always end up taking better pictures.

Jewelry
Women look nice when they wear jewelry. A man can get away with wearing one ring and that’s it. Any more than that and he will look like a lounge singer.

 Mail this post

Technorati Tags: Adults, baseball cards, checkout counter, chicken scratch, community colleges, credit men, dial soap, Females, floozy, Groceries, grocery shopping, gym class, Handwriting, Heart, M 111, Maturity, men are idiots, penmanship, Poem, Relationship, Relationships, Saturday Night, school romances, shaving cream, Six Months, smiley face, toothbrush, toothpaste, typical woman, wedgies

Related Posts

• Jokes for Women and some other gender jokes? before the jokes just won't to let you know I'm not trying to offend anyone I'm good person don't judge me by jokes please here are my blonde jokes they are really funny. http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AjppTMi1qB0caFMi2wSRAl_WxQt.;_ylv=3?qid=20071106151918AAx7Pto Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.......
• Polygamist: brainwashed or just not educated like us? You read and you watch the news on tv about it. We all hear the opinions of the editors and the news host. They talk about the women and children being brainwashed, based on the way they speak and the costumes that they wear. Take into count that these people......
• what broker should i use as a novice investor with smaller dollar amounts to invest? so i have a 401k through work as well as being enrolled in their stock purchase program, a few books i've read Cramer etc. and a play account on yahoo. think i'm about ready. so what broker best suits a young guy lookin not to day trade but to buy......
• Day trading SPY options: How can I do this better? (Long question)? (Note: I have real money experience with options going back to 2000, first covered calls in my IRA and then long calls in my cash account though no day trading experience with real money. I have the 25K to park in an account to satisfy the pattern day trader rules......
• Has anyone read this article? Good food for thought? Why the Dollar Bubble is about to Burst? IRAN HAS REALLY DONE IT...more deadlier than the nuclear.. The Voice (issue 264 -) ran an article beginning, ' Iran has really gone and done it now. No, they haven't sent their first nuclear sub in to the Persian Gulf . They......
• difference between men and women (fairly long)? Handwriting: Men: To their credit, men do not decorate their penmanship. They just chicken-scratch. Women: Women use scented, colored stationery and they dot the "i" with circles or hearts. Women use ridiculously large loops in the "b" and "g". It is a pain to read a note from a woman.......
• Do you like my book so far? PREFACE They say your life could change forever in a matter of hours. Well, I hadn’t really given much thought to that statement until it happened to me. This is the story of how my life changed before I even had a chance to think about what was happening. CHAPTER......

Related Websites

• My Prosper Internal Rate of Return Update (End of Mar 07) = 3.33% for an Decrease of 9.53% This is a RateLadder only IRR update.  (An IRR lender “game” update is in the works.) Here is my permanent tracking page: http://rateladder.com/my-prosper-irr/ My Prosper IRR is defined as: Monthly cash flows with one extra month using the current account value minus any loans 1 month or more late. Current......
• Wednesday Lotto AU 750K Today's NSW Lotto is not a lot easier than Monday's. With most numbers looking to come from those within the last 10 draws, and at least 3 or 4 numbers from within 5 draws. Previous draw the Saliu ANY Filters were: 1+ 3+ 6+ 7+ 9+ 16+ All PLUS, strongly......
• How to get my ex back? :(? So basically me and my ex boyfriend had been going out for two months when we moved in together, it was involuntary, because my parents had kicked me out. After the first couple of weeks everything just went downhill and we ended up breaking up but I still lived there......
• Lotto numbers all hit from last 4 draws On 7 January 2009, the Australian Lotto numbers all hit from the last 4 draws! That is, all winning numbers came from those of the previous 4 draws, a rare event - see draws below. Lotto Results Australia To optimize lotto games for such an event would give tremendous advantage in......
• Widgi Creek Golf Club, Bend, OR Widgi Creek Golf Club is located in: Bend, OR Phone: (541) 382-4449 Website: http://www.widgi.com/golf/hours.cfm Course History: This is a great place to stop if you will be in the Bend, OR area. We fell in love with this course and can't wait to go back. It is extremely beautiful and......
• How do I tell my husband, again that I'm not IN LOVE with him? We've been together for 7 years, we have 3 children 51/2, 4, and 3. I've haven't felt "in love" with him since before the birth of our 3rd child. I've told him this before, we're trying to work it out. I thought it was working but I still don't feel......
• Prosper.com Crosses 50 Million Dollars in Loans It took from 2/27/06 until 04/05/2007.  Just over one month to go from 40 to 50 million.  The pace is still quickening.   Date: Principal Closed: # Loans: # Registrations: # Lenders: # Borrowers: # Groups: # GLs: Historical Interest Rates Credit Grade Group Member Average Rate Less Than 5K......

Handwriting:

Men: To their credit, men do not decorate their penmanship. They just chicken-scratch.

Women: Women use scented, colored stationery and they dot the "i" with circles or hearts. Women use ridiculously large loops in the "b" and "g". It is a pain to read a note from a woman. Even when she’s dumping you, she will put a smiley face at the end of the note.

Groceries:

Women: A woman makes a list of things she needs, then goes out to the store and buys those things.

Men: A man waits till the only items left in his fridge are half a lime and a beer. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good. By the time a man reaches the checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter than the Clampett’s car on Beverly Hillbillies. Of course, this will not stop him from going to the express lane.

Relationships:

Women: When a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and she will write a poem titled "All Men Are Idiots". Then she will get on with her life.

Men: A man has a little more trouble letting go. Six months after the break-up, at 3:00 a.m. on a Saturday night, he will call and say, "I just wanted to let you know you ruined my life, and I’ll never forgive you, and I hate you, and you’re a total floozy. But I want you to know that there’s always a chance for us." This is known as the "I Hate You / I Love You" drunken phone call, that 99% of all men have made at least once. There are community colleges that offer courses to help men get over this need.

Sex:

Women: They prefer 30-40 minutes of foreplay.

Men: They prefer 30-40 seconds of foreplay. Men consider driving back to her place part of the foreplay.

Maturity:

Women: They mature much faster than men. Most 17-year old females can function as adults.

Men: Most 17-year old males are still trading baseball cards and giving each other wedgies after gym class. This is why high school romances rarely work out.

Magazines:

Men: Men’s magazines often feature pictures of naked women. Men are turned on at the sight of a naked woman’s body.

Women: Women’s magazines also feature pictures of naked women. This is because the female body is a beautiful work of art, while the male body is lumpy and hairy and should not be seen by the light of day. Most naked men elicit laughter from women.

Bathrooms:

Men: A man has six items in his bathroom — a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.

Women: The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 437. A man cannot identify most of these items.

Shoes:

Women: When preparing for work, a woman will put on a wool suit, then slip on Reebok sneakers. She will carry her dress shoes in a plastic bag from Saks. When a woman gets to work, she will put on her dress shoes. Five minutes later, she will kick them off because her feet are under the desk.

Men: A man will wear the same pair of shoes all day. Let’s not talk about how many days he’ll wear the same socks.

Cats:

Women: Women love cats.

Men: Men say they love cats, but when women aren’t looking, men kick cats.

Children:

Women: A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams.

Men: A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

Dressing Up:

Women: A woman will dress up to: go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail.

Men: A man will dress up for: weddings, funerals.

Laundry:

Women: Women do laundry every couple of days.

Men: A man will wear every article of clothing he owns, including his surgical pants (the ones that were hip about eight years ago) before he will do his laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, rent a U-Haul and take his mountain of clothes to the Laundromat. Men always expect to meet beautiful women at the Laundromat. This is a myth perpetuated by reruns of old episodes of "Love American Style."

Eating Out:

Men: When the check comes, each man will each throw in bills, even though it’s only for .50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.

Women: When the girls get their check, out come the pocket calculators.

Mirrors:

Men: Men are vain and will check themselves out in a mirror.

Women: They are ridiculous; they will check out their reflections in any shiny surface: mirrors, spoons, store windows, bald guys’ heads.

Menopause:

Women: When a woman reaches menopause, she goes through a variety of complicated emotional, psychological, and biological changes. The nature and degree of these changes varies with the individual.

Men: Menopause in a man provokes a uniform reaction - he buys aviator glasses, a snazzy French cap and leather driving gloves, and goes shopping for a Porsche.

The Phone:

Men: Men see the telephone as a communication tool. They use the telephone to send short messages to other people.

Women: A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.

Richard Gere:

Women: Women like Richard Gere because he is sexy in a dangerous way.

Men: Men hate Richard Gere because he reminds them of that slick guy who works at the health club and dates only married women.

Madonna:

Same as above, but reversed. Same reason.

Toys:

Women: Little girls love to play with toys. Then when they reach the age of 11 or 12, they lose interest.

Men: Men never grow out of their toy obsession. As they get older, their toys simply become more expensive, silly and impractical. Examples of men’s toys: little miniature TVs. Car phones. Complicated juicers and blenders. Graphic equalizers. Small robots that serve cocktails on command. Video games. Anything that blinks, beeps, and requires at least 6 "D" batteries to operate.

Cameras:

Men: Men take photography very seriously. They’ll shell out 00 for state of the art equipment, and build dark rooms and take photography classes.

Women: Women purchase Kodak Instamatics. Of course, women always end up taking better pictures.

Locker Rooms:

Men: In the locker room men talk about three things: money, football, and women. They exaggerate about money, they don’t know football nearly as well as they think they do, and they fabricate stories about women.

Women: They talk about one thing in the locker room - sex. And not in abstract terms, either. They are extremely graphic and technical, and they never lie.

Movies:

Women: Every actress in the history of movies has had to do a nude scene. This is because every movie in the history of movies has been produced by a man.

Men: The only actor who has ever appeared nude in the movies is Richard Gere. This is another reason why men hate him.

Jewelry:

Women: Women look nice when they wear jewelry.

Men: A man can get away with wearing one ring and that’s it. Any more than that and he will look like a lounge singer named Vic.

Conversation:

Men: Men need a good disagreement to get talking. For instance, "Wow, great movie." or "What are you, nuts? No REAL cop would have an Uzi that size."

Women: Women, not having this problem, try to initiate conversations with men by saying something agreeable: "That garden by the roadside looks lovely." "Mm hmm." Pause. "That was a good restaurant last night, wasn’t it?" "Yeah." Pause. And so on.

Leg Warmers:

Women: Leg warmers are sexy. A woman, even if she’s walking the dog or doing the dishes, is allowed to wear leg warmers. She can wear them any time she wants.

Men: A man can only wear leg warmers if he is auditioning for the "Gimme the Ball" number in "A Chorus Line."

Friends:

Women: Women on a girls’ night out talk the whole time.

Men: Men on a boy’s night out say about twenty words all night, most of which are "Pass the Doritos" or "got any more beer?"

Restrooms:

Women: Women use restrooms as social lounges. Women who’ve never met will leave a restroom giggling together like old friends. Women also go to the restroom in packs, at least two women at a time excuse themselves to use the restroom.

Men: Men use restrooms for purely biological reasons. Men in a restrooms will never speak a word to each other. And never in the history of the world has a man excused himself from a restaurant table by saying, "Hey, Tom, I was just about to take a leak. Do you want to join me?"

 Mail this post

Technorati Tags: baseball cards, beverly hillbillies, checkout counter, chicken scratch, Circles, clampett, community colleges, credit men, Difference Between Men And Women, express lane, floozy, Fridge, Groceries, grocery shopping, gym class, Handwriting, Hearts, life men, Lime, Men And Women, men are idiots, need sex, penmanship, quot, Relationship, Relationships, sex women, smiley face, Stationery, wedgies, Woman, women women

Related Posts

• Do you like my book so far? PREFACE They say your life could change forever in a matter of hours. Well, I hadn’t really given much thought to that statement until it happened to me. This is the story of how my life changed before I even had a chance to think about what was happening. CHAPTER......
• now that fox folk have got the nomination secured for the crooks they are willing to talk about how right Ron? is http://emac.blogs.foxbusiness.com/ Time to Listen to Ron Paul? By Elizabeth MacDonald Time to listen to Texas Congressman Ron Paul, the lone voice of reason in Congress today who’s got to feel like he’s shouting into a field of cotton with his repeated warnings about the dangers of a collapsing dollar,......
• Jokes for Women and some other gender jokes? before the jokes just won't to let you know I'm not trying to offend anyone I'm good person don't judge me by jokes please here are my blonde jokes they are really funny. http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AjppTMi1qB0caFMi2wSRAl_WxQt.;_ylv=3?qid=20071106151918AAx7Pto Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.......
• Relationships, yes or no lol? Relationships: When a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and she will write a poem titled 'All Men Are Idiots.' Then she will get on with her life. A mail has a little more trouble letting go. Six months after the break-up,......
• Why do Canadians seem to assume Americans are pro-Harper and pro-Alberta (province)? This is what is mindboggling to me. I live near Washington, DC, USA and there have been 2 major Canadian events in the last 2 years: 1) Alberta, Canada represented in the Smithsonian Folklife Festival with lots of folklore and bison burgers and Molsen on a hot and humid July......
• Day trading SPY options: How can I do this better? (Long question)? (Note: I have real money experience with options going back to 2000, first covered calls in my IRA and then long calls in my cash account though no day trading experience with real money. I have the 25K to park in an account to satisfy the pattern day trader rules......
• Tell me what you think of Obama and why? Tell me what you think of Obama and why? Lets have some facts stated first. Here are just a couple of the bad things he's done so far. Obama has basically created 8 trillion dollars and we dont know whats happened to most of it. Obama doesnt support an audit......

Related Websites

• An Investment Average of 10% won't Guarantee Success An Investment Average of 10% won't Guarantee Success I saw a great advertisement released by my office's parent company today; I have never released what my office's parent company is...and I am not about to start now! Notwithstanding my obsession with privacy, I couldn't get over this info and felt like I......
• Does going back and asking for more child support make me money hungry? My ex has only ben paying 0 a month in child support for the last 9 1/2 yrs. In my state, I could have requested a review of his child support every 3 yrs, which would have been in 2001, again in 2004 and now in 2007. I just now......
• If your husband was calling his ex wife and kids are in their 20's? Long story short. My husband can get away with calling his ex wife that he was not in contact with for many years and I was the one that pushed him to contact his (kids) Now his kids are 23 and 21 but when they are not home he is......
• Why do catholics believe these things? Question~ "Why is it that Catholic doctrine states the Pope is infallible" God says "It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in MAN" Psalm 118:8 "As it is written, There is NONE righteous, NO NOT ONE:" Romans 3:10 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Question~ "Why does Catholic doctrine state......
• Wednesday Lotto AU 750K Today's NSW Lotto is not a lot easier than Monday's. With most numbers looking to come from those within the last 10 draws, and at least 3 or 4 numbers from within 5 draws. Previous draw the Saliu ANY Filters were: 1+ 3+ 6+ 7+ 9+ 16+ All PLUS, strongly......
• Powerball AU 9million Nice first prize, not so easy to predict result, with sum totals and ANY filters not showing much clear direction. Look for a predominance of small numbers possibly, with a couple coming from way back in the draws. Numbers running HOT: 1 5 12 29 39 40 42 44 Numbers......
• Signs Of Cheating Men Can You Tell The Signs Your Husband Is Cheating? You might have that undefinable gut feeling that there is something going on that your husband does not want you to know about.  To be quite hones, do you actually know the signs of cheating men? According to statistics, 70% of......